i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
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Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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