Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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