dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
