there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
