New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
