i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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