We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
