whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
