don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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