I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize