dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
