i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
