i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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