my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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