I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize