Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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