Pappa wants mamma naked
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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