I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
