I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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