i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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