Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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