Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
