im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
