Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
