The maid of honor just puked.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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