# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
