Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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