Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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