if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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