Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
