you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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