Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
