Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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