Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
