woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
