fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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