id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
my poor anus
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
