she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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