I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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