Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
