I heard we made out
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
