Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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