I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
well you can't waste a boner
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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