hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Randomize
