He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
