im having a threesome with these popsicles
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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