I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
