We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
