My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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