This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The feeling are messing with the penis
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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