man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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