All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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