you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
