Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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