Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
