I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
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I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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