he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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