I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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