I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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