Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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