You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
