How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize