Dual....:-)
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize